All aboard! Come ride this train with me… it may be different than as imagined given the title. Ha!
Yesterday was the new moon, a time I generally ritual around manifestations and frequently, more so since becoming a mom, think about doing a ritual but just sort of spend some vague thought windows sort of circling the manifesting thoughts a bit and then forget to do more because exhaustion or literally forgetting or …
It’s ok. I’m practicing gentle love with myself, which encompasses understanding of a different life structure, in which I do a great deal that are also basic every day tasks that keep a home and family alive and thriving, and therefor feel a bit mundane and easy to overlook, particularly given the type of doer I was historically.
You know what else I’m practicing? Starting NOW… kicked off by yesterday’s new moon?
RADICAL SELF LOVE
That’s right. I said it. Time to get all up in the love of you. In a world where consumerism bombards you with the message that you are not enough, radical self love is a revolutionary act. It’s time for the revolution. Time to eliminate negative language and SWIM, BASK, BATHE, in the words about yourself that are loving and truthful and empowering and accurate and helpful.
Words are big, they shape our perspectives and inform our brains and those of the people around us too. Believe me, I’m well aware that using positive words will impact my child in many ways, and all of those ways good. Once the words are shifted, what of actions? I’m gonna get deep on some radical self love action too!
For instance, on Mother’s Day I took my mama body to the full length mirror and I rubbed my stretch marks and my cesarean scar, and the little belly ledge that exists since creating life. I touched my body and I called it powerful, I thanked it for hosting space to build my child and allow me to live in the role of mother, I expressed gratitude for the scar that means I healed from surgery. The next day I took five bags of donated clothes to a church to help others. Those bags had been all up in my space and making my immediate space feel chaotic and taxing. I was so tired of facing it every day. Dropped those bags off yesterday and I feel so much better waking up to the cleanliness I found today.
There are so many ways to love yourself. I’m also practicing using my mind space actively. Just complimenting myself… often. Whenever my thoughts are spiraling or I’m using that mind space for something unproductive? Throwing compliments at me! My voice is valuable and people want to hear it. I have a kind heart and that quality is so important. The chores I did so far today are making a positive difference in my life and my family’s life. ETC ETC ETC.
You know what is totally wild? These things are true. I’m not bullshiting. But boy oh boy is this a real transformative way to use my brain space. A little bit eeek wow woof ugh, maybe this shouldn’t feel so transformative. But whatever, no need to spend to much time on the eek woof bit, when the hell yes Queen bit is here and now. And, while I very well may take on a recitation of a fixed affirmation this month this free form radical love spew has felt just terrific and like very little planning is needed to hope into this behavior.
When one is working on giving permission to listening and acting on intuition, it takes the doing to help it grow. I can see this being the same way. So, through this “moonth” of radical self love practice I’ll be posting on facebook and instagram little tidbits here and there that I find particularly yummy. So come ride this radical love train with me! Steal my good ideas and revel in the way they feel. Share your own tidbits and tag me in them so that I can use them for myself or so that I can celebrate your juicy good journey!
BUT… what about all the things you need to work on? All the elements of negative self-talk that just has to happen in order for you to be the diligent worker that you have to be in order to BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Yeah, I said blah, blah, blah. Because, I don’t actually believe you need negative self-talk to be real with yourself or to achieve something, or whatever other excuse you’re currently making for yourself. I think that is some garbage thought clutter and belongs in the garbage bin outside your brain.
We are not talking about practicing toxic positivity. Here’s a quick aside to quiet your inner critic with some practical explanation:
Let’s work sets of circumstances of toxic positivity with the lens of radical love.
#1 – Experiencing guilt for being sad or angry. How about some radical love for the powerful being you are that contain emotions of all varieties? Being honest about feelings is not easy work and the fact that you can do that through all varieties of feelings is really to be commended. It is only through honesty of challenge in experience that you can find honest resolution of the same.
#2 – Dismissing others’ difficult feelings. How about radical love for a relationship that can be present for a person is in a hard place? Sitting with another you love while they exist in their discomfort can make you uncomfortable, but it is a gift that is part of the core of the mortal experience. Honoring the truth of what another feels gives them validation that is strengthening and good on you for listening to the real need of the moment instead of an urge to escape for your own comfort.
#3 – Hiding painful emotions. Radical love for the big emotions! Call yourself brave for facing what needs facing. Remind yourself of tools you have to give you strength while you face that big stuff. You don’t pretend painful emotions aren’t there, but you certainly don’t have to call yourself pitiful for feeling them in addition to feeling them.
I won’t take any more time on this piece, because I think the differentiation is clear, but if you want more clarity, just comment here or hit me up on socials and we can talk it through together.
Give yourself some credit. When I was first working on manifestation practices my reiki master teacher heard me in a sort of negotiation wherein I’d ask for what I wanted (hadn’t yet learned the way or comfort of commanding it) and I quickly would follow it up with “If you give me xyz, I promise I’ll zyx.” My promises were all about giving back and being of service to others somehow. She was like, you don’t need to say that. Don’t you think there’s trust in the quality of your spirit? Everybody knows that if you live well you will give well, such is the nature of your heart. Trust yourself.
So start with that gift of radical love, trust that you can find a healthy way to give yourself radical love as your utmost priority and still get work done and partake in necessary improvements.
I believe in you. I also believe in me. Because damn my capabilities are massive! My creative brain is exciting and unleashing its power is a wild thought because it is mighty and so is this world and opportunity is truly open when I give permission to my potential and I do give permission to my potential, after all I’m the only one who can rock the uniqueness of me…
See where I’m going with this?
Let’s ride this radical love train. The way it’s got me riding high so far makes me want to ride the radical love train for the rest of my days.
You know what I’m manifesting when I practice radical self love? Literally anything. Because believing in yourself is clutch, it is the key to all of it; fulfillment, achievement, joy, being a good teacher… ALL OF IT. Get in your joy spot and you will live in your highest frequency, contributing at your potential, and receiving what you deserve just as you know you deserve it.